Principal Brian Sietso and Superintendent Dr. Tim Terranova have recently reached out to the Victor Voice to announce a series of radical new school protocols. The new rules and regulations, which address a wide variety of misconduct throughout the student body, make a strong stance on the mistreatment of our bathrooms. It has been decided that all stall barriers and doors, as well as any existing urinal dividers, will be removed alongside the doors to the bathrooms themselves. 

To address anticipated concerns of a lack of privacy, public blindfolds will be hung above their respective toilets so that users can relieve themselves away from the prying eyes of their peers. 

Siesto had this to say about the new policy, “We’re not monsters, we understand that the bathroom is a sacred place for many, I myself am a shy pooper. But the fact of the matter is that the amount of money and effort we’ve dumped into fixing your messes is unacceptable, so if this is what we have to resort to then so be it.” He then went on to further explain the logistics of his plan, which includes a monitor posted in the doorway at all times in between first bell to the very end of activity period. 

When pressed on the decision to exclude nose plugs, Siesto had this to say about potential odorous problems that might arise, “we really want you to smell the consequences of your actions.”

Unfortunately walls are not the only thing being removed from student possession as the paper towel station has also been omitted from the new bathroom arrangement. After its failure to prevent the clogging of latrines Terranova seems fed up, “if you wanted dry hands you shouldn’t have broken our freaking toilets.”  

Because of this the school is anticipating the top floor gender neutral bathrooms to have lines longer than ever before seen.

This, along with numerous other new policies, will be introduced on the first of April.