Warning: The following article features topics surrounding suicide and drug addiction
Although Mac Miller unfortunately passed away in 2018 from a drug overdose, he has had two separate albums with completely new music released following his death. The first album was Circles which was a planned sequel to his prior album Swimming to portray the concept of Swimming in Circles. This second album, Balloonerism, was teased at Camp Flog Gnaw in November, officially announced by his estate a couple of days later, and then officially released on January 17, 2025.
Here is some history about the album:
Balloonerism was recorded in 2014 between albums Watching Movies With the Sound Off and The Divine Feminine but was ultimately ditched because it was on the lower end of his priority list due to the nature of this album being very experimental for its time and how much it went into depth on Mac’s personal life which he hadn’t done as much before. Despite this, the album was still very important to him which is why he still got the album cover created.
Once Mac passed away, his family was left with a bunch of unfinished tracks with one album being Circles and the other being Ballonerism with a handful of other tracks left over. These tracks were treated differently than those of other rappers who passed away as the producers kept close contact with his close friends and family so they could release it exactly how Mac would have wanted it to have been.
As I previously mentioned, this album goes in-depth into Mac’s personal life and this was a time where he was struggling a lot with his mental health and the lyrics of the songs reflect what he was feeling at the time with topics surrounding mental illness, addiction, spirituality, and even suicidal thoughts which is another reason why the album was abandoned.
The album features a lot of synthesizers and spacey type chords, especially on the track Do You Have a Destination? which makes it hard to believe that it was made 11 years ago as it sounds similar to some songs today. To me, a lot of the vibes and instrumentals match those on the album Let’s Start Here by Lil Yachty as they’re both rappers that had a much different style previous to these respective albums other than, in my opinion, the song 5 Dollar Pony Rides as it could easily fit in with the other songs in The Divine Feminine.
The album starts uniquely with the first track being a 33-second long tambourine solo and then the next song DJ’s Chord Organ begins with the “DJ” naming certain chords and then they get played on an organ-type keyboard which then transitions to an amazing harmony by SZA and the rest of the song largely consists of her singing.
I think that this was a very interesting but great way to start off the album. While this may have been considered experimental in 2014, this not only keeps up with what other artists are doing now in 2025, but it still stands out as a stand-out way to start an album.
The rest of the album has a solid variety of songs but the songs that largely stand out to me are Funny Papers and Do You Have a Destination? Both of these songs go deeply into Mac’s personal life and his battle with mental health but display it in two very different ways.
Do You Have a Destination?, as previously mentioned, largely features synthesizers and space chords which I am a fan of. The lyrics of this song go deep into his depression specifically about his lack of motivation and suicidal thoughts with lyrics such as “Okay, I went to sleep and woke up invisible. Rich as f*ck and miserable” and “Am I Okay? F*ck no. Just nuts, so. Need to let the drugs go. Tryna find heaven but I never come close. We still wonder why we never learn to love, it’s because the air is filled with gun smoke.”
Mac Miller was going through a difficult time while recording this and even though this was recorded over a decade ago, a large portion of the lyrics still apply today. This also highlights his drug usage at the time as well and how the drugs felt like an escape and whenever he was feeling suicidal, he’d get high in a possible suicide attempt yet it never seemed to happen. This was also before he started dating Ariana Grande who played a huge part in improving his mental health and progression towards sobriety however, Grande found that she couldn’t handle his addictions anymore which resulted in their breakup which turned out to be a major catalyst that lead up to Miller’s death.
Funny Papers features a similar theme as Do You Have a Destination? but goes a lot deeper into his problems with suicidal ideation. The title itself refers to the comic strip section of a newspaper and refers to how “somebody died today, I saw his name in the funny papers”.
The song goes between telling the story of how this man died and Mac’s thoughts. The man reportedly “drove off the bridge to his wedding song, blew out the bass in his speakers, you can still hear the treble going” which indicates that it was likely a suicide. That lyric is followed by the verse “The hospital was useless and everything was quiet but the music. Recently I only meet peace when in deep sleep. Waitin’ on the other side. I wonder if he’ll take me to the other side.”
This particular set of verses most likely refers to Mac’s personal experiences with suicidal ideation. I think that he is talking about how he went to rehab for his struggles with drug addiction but it didn’t help. He most likely felt alone and isolated, so everything was quiet in these moments, but listening and making music helped him. I
t also refers to if someone will take him to the other side which could be referring to how drugs could take him to a different place where his problems go away which could be heaven as a result of an overdose or a hallucination. The chorus goes “If I just pay my rent by Tuesday I bet I’ll be rich by April Fools Day.” which can be interpreted as if he could get himself to do a simple thing, such as paying rent, he’d be essentially on top of the world because that’s how low of a place he was in at the time.
He ends the song with the line “Sh*t, I ain’t an innovator. Just a motherf*ckin illustrator,” alluding to how these aren’t foreign concepts and he’s not introducing anything new, he’s just pointing out some things that are unfortunately facts of life that people have to live and deal with in their daily lives.
